This anxiety thing is new. I don’t want to go into details because it’s still very painful and difficult for me to process. And even though the Anxiety level is new, I’ve always been “high stressed”, so much so that my parents used to always repeat a poem about “worry” to me as a young child. The other day I went to the temple to seek for answers. As I entered into the most beautiful room, a painting was directly in front of me with the Savior’s hand stretched out. I physically started to reach out in tears because I wanted to grab it. I wanted him to hold me. Then I began crying because I couldn’t tangibly touch Him. As I stayed within those walls I didn’t want to leave. I wished I could fall asleep there. Because there, I had peace. I had peace from my anxiousness. I went there thinking I would leave with an answer of what I need to specifically direct my focus on

Instead I thought of the story of Martha and Mary when Jesus comes to visit them in Luke 10: 38-42. I used to look at this story and think Jesus loved Mary more.. but now I see how much he loved Martha as well. Now I see him looking at her and trying to ease her anxious heart by simply saying to her, “Martha, Martha, thou art careful (the footnote says “worried”) and troubled about many things; BUT ONE thing is needful”

So instead of me leaving those walls and getting an answer of “just share child development” or “just share your faith” or “just focus on that side project” or “stop your blog and social media”, I heard, “RyLee, remember only ONE thing is needful.” I’m reaching out. I’m trying to take his hand, his hand that brings peace, and trying to do the ONE thing that is needful. Moment by moment, day by day…I’m seeking Him, because he brings peace to my anxious heart and with him, I can feel the calm in the storm