Being a mother of three girls ages 4, 2 and 1 can be so stinking difficult. These three beautiful brown eyed girls are totally dependent on me to take care of them. And while I love being a mother with my entire soul, it can be exhausting and draining. Why? Because all too often we as mothers forget to take care of ourself. This is a dangerous slope. Heavenly Father and our Savior don’t want this journey of motherhood to be miserable for you. He doesn’t want you to feel like you can do nothing for YOU. He doesn’t want you to feel like you can’t take time for yourself. I used to think I COULDN’T take time for me before them. And essentially, I SHOULDN’T spend time on me. Every thing I do should be for everyone else, and I’m here to tell you that that thought isn’t from God.

Think of a flight attendant on an airplane. When they are explaining the oxygen mask, what do they say? Place the oxygen mask on yourself BEFORE helping another individual. That makes total sense right? of course we should place the oxygen mask on ourselves first. What good are we if we try to help someone else first and forget ourselves? We die. We die and then we CAN’T help anyone else! The same goes for you. It took me far too long to realize that if I don’t take care of myself first, can I be the best mom I can be? No. I get frustrated easier, I am less patient, I second guess everything I am doing and I slip into these states of self doubt and depression. I begin to lose oxygen. Here’s the thing absolutely your children need you. Your spouse needs you. God needs you. So take time for you. I’m still on my own path of placing the oxygen on myself first, but it is to making all the difference. Take it one step at a time. Here’s how you start:

Step 1: Wake up BEFORE your kids. I know… so stinking hard when you already have little energy, but taking care of you FIRST gives you energy. Trust me. Instead of feeling frustrated and whiney at the end of the day that I have no time for me or to pursue my passions, or study my scriptures, or work out etc. You start your day taking care of YOU, rather than waking up to children demanding things of you right when you wake up. Right now I am working on getting enough sleep so I can wake up before my children. I aim to go to bed around 10pm and then wake up at 6am. My children typically sleep until 7:30-8am. That gives me 1.5-2 hours of time to myself, and I’m still getting 8 hours of sleep a night. Throughout the day you will feel energized and more excited to play and fully engage with your children because you first gave some of yourself to you and things that you value for personal growth.

Step 2: Book those doctors appointments. Are you struggling with something physically or mentally? Maybe you have neglected personal care because you don’t have time, or it’s too hard to find a babysitter, or you forget throughout the day because you’re too busy taking care of the kids. Make this a priority! My eczema is out of control, which is a separate detailed blog post later. But it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t doing everything I could to help control it. I woke up to screaming children and stress makes me scratch. I immediately was taking care of them and forgetting to put lotion on first thing in the morning. I wasn’t setting doctor’s appointments because they were too much of a hassle. GET the HELP you need! Whether that’s physical doctors appointments or for your mental health. Get the professional help where you need it. It’s worth every penny you’re afraid to spend on yourself.

Step 3: Workout. We all know we’re supposed to. And reading it over and over won’t motivate us. I’m just beginning this step again after four long years. Gosh, why do we do that. The idea of working out again was daunting. Can my body still do that? It’s going to be so hard! Yes and yes. Your body can still do that, and yes it’s going to be so so hard. But working out fuels your body, it gives you energy. Energy you need to take care of yourself and your family. I think about some of the greatest achievers in the world. And sometimes I let myself say the excuse in my head, “Yeah, but I don’t have time.” Weird thing, we all have the same amount of time! Now I know some of those people don’t have young children, and can focus more on themselves. But this doesn’t have to be huge. I’m probably not going to be some workout junky, but I can get up and move every day. Truth be told right now I can’t sweat. Weird huh, but when I sweat my skin flares and it won’t go away for days. It’s painful and itchy. But today I can walk, I can move, I can try yoga (again). I’m grateful for all that my body CAN DO.

Now if you have children who are up in the night or a new baby, this can be super difficult. I know, I’ve been there. But start the day taking care of you. Even if it’s only for 30 minutes. That’s how I started. I gave myself 30 minutes, and on the days I failed, I had a supportive spouse who helped take care of the kids for 30 minutes so I could wake up, brush my teeth, put on my lotion for my eczema, and get clothes on. Even that improved my physical and mental health in so many ways! Add in your own steps later. aim for bigger goals later. But just place the mask on yourself first, one step at a time. You will be in a better position to help and improve everyone else’s lives around you. Take care of YOU momma.