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What’s a “Calm Down Corner?”
First of all I want to commend you for being here. The very fact that you are reading this blog post emphasizes your desire to help your child with their big emotions and big behaviors. You’re a good parent who loves your child and they will already be set up for success just because of you and your immense love for them.
Sometimes I forget as a parent to implement some of the concepts I have learned as a former preschool teacher into my own home. Having a designated safe space in your home where your children can go to calm down when they feel like their emotions are bigger than they can handle, can not only help them regulate their emotions, but provided the right resources, can also help them gain emotional intelligence. That being said, nothing takes the place of your love and comfort for your child. This space is meant to take on a proactive approach to big emotions and help our children know what to do with those emotions.
Emotions are valid. We feel things simply because we are human. Our feelings connect us to others. It’s what makes us empathetic, loving, kind and understanding. Our emotions are something we should be proud of! It’s normal to feel happy, angry, sad, frustrated, scared, confused, worried etc. We want to break the generational cycle and tendency to simply state, “Stop Crying” when our child’s emotions present themselves in big behaviors whatever that might be. Our children feel just as strongly as we do as adults, but they haven’t quite gained the emotional intelligence to know how to calm those strong emotions, or know what to do with them. Heck, we as adults, struggle to regulate our own emotions. If it’s hard for us as adults, can you even imagine how difficult it must be for our children?
Creating a Calm Down Space that Fits Your Home
Our calm down space can look a variety of ways. Whether we are creating a calm down space for our homes or for children in a classroom we are teaching, we truly can implement the concept of the calm down corner anywhere. Here are the key ingredients;
- Find a quiet space free from distractions. This might be a corner in a hallway, an area off your kitchen or living room, or could be in your child’s bedroom. The key here is to not have a lot of noise, clutter, or extra toys. Keep it simple and focus on providing a space where emotional supportive resources can be used and be the main focus.
- Provide soft furniture. A calm down area should also be a soothing tactile experience using soft furniture. Refrain from using hard chairs. Instead, use cushions, pillows, blankets and soft stuffed animals.
- Add books Truthfully, any books might be just fine, but if you want to take it up a notch add in books that support emotional intelligence by discussing different feelings, books that provide ideas on what to do with our big emotions, and letting children know that it’s OKAY to feel all of those emotions. We want them to know that their feelings are valid, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling a certain way. Listed below are a few books that we use in our calm down corner.
- Add in emotional development resources. If you aren’t sure where to start with this one, I have added links below to help you get started at varying price points. Some of these look like flash cards with different emotions and an action scenario of what might have caused said emotion. Others are breathing exercises, and finger mazes to help slow our body when it feels tight or tense with strong emotions. Some are fidget toys to help distract our bodies and minds and help us slow down. These resources are not only an incredible tool for helping children regulate their emotions, but they are fun and engaging for your child(ren) as well.
- Conversations In order to enhance our children’s emotional intelligence in the process, our conversations with our child are crucial to supporting their emotional development. I go into more detail with examples below, but first seek to understand what your child is feeling, and then try to help them know how to navigate those strong emotions. Keep in mind, “Big emotions, lead to big behaviors”
Calm Down Corner Wood Structure We used this Nature Reading Nook for our calm down corner. You can use discount code: Rylee10 on Discount School Supply’s entire site. They also have a lot of great socio-emotional resources as well.
Toys
All About Feelings Drawing Toy with Cards This is hands down my girls favorite resource in our calm down corner. They love the cards and trying to draw the different emotions. They also love the various scenarios on the back of the cards that show why that child is feeling that particular emotion.
Mindful Maze Toys These toys are my new favorite! I love that my girls can practice mindfulness and slowing down their breathing and body by using these fun finger maze toys.
Kaleidoscope Kaleidoscopes have been around for ages and rightfully so. They are stunning to look at and the ways that the images change are stunning.
Sensory Water Snake I remember playing with these when I was a kid! They are addicting and can help your child calm down by engaging more of their senses.
Alphabet Pop It Toy I love that these incredible resources are popular right now! I added in an alphabet pop it to our calm down space so that older children can try to spell out their emotions, while younger children can simply enjoy popping the bubbles.
Fat Brain Toy Spinner This is one of my favorite toys for baby as well as older children! It’s calming and addicting to tip the toy over and over again and watch the pieces spin.
Gel Bead Emotion Friends These little emotion friends help little ones see different emotions while providing a sensory experience at the same time.
Apple Lacing Toy When I recently saw this at Target the other day I was so excited. As if the toy wasn’t already fun alone, this one adds in pattern challenges to enhance your child’s cognitive development as they go from numbered hole to numbered hole to create the image provided.
Fidget Noodles A few softer fidget toys in your calm down corner is a great way to help your child regulate those big emotions.
Pop It Ball You might be thinking this is just another pop it, but it’s not! Because of the ball shape, as you pop bubbles on one side, they begin to pop out on the other. It’s impossible to get them all popped at the same time, but it’s fun trying!
Calm Down Cubes I love that these cubes are proactive in suggesting action ideas for your child when they are trying to figure out what to do with those big emotions. Some examples include; hugging a soft toy, taking a drink of water, playing with dough, and singing a song. These cubes have pictures as well as words so even your non reading children will be able to understand what is provided on the image.
Stack and Build Emotion Kids I thought this little stacker toy was fun and helps to emphasize different feelings.
Big Feelings Pineapple This one is a fun resource for creating different emotions on the pineapple. The poster included helps to give your child different expression creation ideas.
All About Me Feelings Activity Set with Cards I love these little characters. These cards are also amazing as they provide an animated figure of the emotion as well as a realistic photo of the emotions so that your child can see themselves in the pictures provided.
Yoga and Meditation Cards The pictures help children practice different yoga poses while the back of the cards have a detailed description of the pose. Although the detailed descriptions are a bit wordy, they can be perfect talking points for the adults or even used for older aged children.
Calming Cuddle Ball This ball is so fun. You can cuddle it, enter-twine your fingers within it, gently toss it, or use it as a pillow.
Watch-It-Roll Calming Tube This particular tube is perfect for your calm down space as the beads roll slowly down the ball creating a sensory experience for the ears, eyes, and hands.
Rainbow Liquid Sensory Viewers I love a good liquid sensory viewer and I was particularly partial to these rainbow viewers.
Infinity Breathing Symbol We actually got this in a little Pre-K packet, but I instantly became obsessed with the velvet infinity breathing symbol and the finger tracing alphabet song cards!
Squid Pops We actually got ours from the Target dollar section, but if you can’t find it there this one is an amazing deal for 20.
Emotional Support Books
You’re a Lion yoga book I love this book. This book simplifies yoga poses while relating the poses to different animals.
In my Heart This book is a sweet book about how our big feelings are valid, and make us who we are.
The Rabbit Listened Wow this book is powerful. This book can be a little abstract to younger children, but with parent or teacher involvement can be an incredible resource. This book relates grieving in a way for children to understand by relating to when our block tower falls down. It also gives ways to positively help and interact with a friend that might be grieving, while sharing ways that might not be as helpful.
All About Feelings This book is a bit more wordy, but has a lot of great conversation points within it for parent to child or teacher to student.
Slumberkins Books Make sure to get these cute books about feelings along with your soft slumberkin animal toy!
A Little Spot of Feelings Book Set These books focus on one emotion per book and the characters are adorable. You can also find plush toys of these emotion spots.
Soft Toys and Blankets
Slumberkins Slumberkins are the perfect soft toy to cuddle in your calm down corner. These little cuties are all about emotions and gaining emotional intelligence and self confidence. Make sure to get their adorable books that go with the characters that teach all about feelings.
Squishamals My girls love holding and cuddling squishamals!
Plush Expression Babies Plush dolls to add into your calm down corner that express different emotions.
Cotton Muslin Blanket from Little Unicorn We love these soft breathable blankets from Little Unicorn. They are comfortable and if you get the deluxe cotton the softness is next level! You can use discount code purposefultoys15 on their entire site.
Conversations
All of these fun resources are meaningless if we don’t take the time to talk with our child about their emotions. We want to make sure we are validating their emotions. Let them know it’s okay to feel deeply. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to feel! Be there to support them, love them, and help them through it. Be there to talk to them about what they might be feeling, help add a label to those big emotions, and provide ideas on what they CAN do when they are feeling so deeply.
That’s what a calm down corner really is. It’s a proactive approach to helping our child learn about and regulate their big feelings. It’s a safe space for your child to feel in a world where we are judged for our big emotions. I’m grateful that the stigma around emotions, anxiety, mental health issues extra are changing. Let us be a role model for our children.
You do not need to hide your emotions from your children. You can, and in fact you should, say things such as, “Mommy feels sad right now. I just need a hug.” or “Mom is feeling angry, I need a little break and then I can come back and talk to you.” Allowing yourself to take a break when you need it, gives your child permission to take a break when they need it as well.
